Can We Keep One, Max?
by FineChyna
Summary: You know, you'd think a bird kid deserves a break after saving the world, right? Well apparently not. Somehow, me and the rest of the Flock got dragged into the world of creepy rainbow ponies. And now, I'm not sure what's gonna be harder: getting home, or convincing Angel that we can't take one home with us.
1. The doozy

**Hello, everyone! I have wanted to write this for a while! Enjoy! This takes place after mlp season 4, and just after Saving The World And Other Extreme Sports. Obviously, spoilers. Also, I don't own My Little Pony or Maximum Ride. Those are licence of Hasbro and James Patterson.**

** And now...LET THE STORY BEGIN! ALSO, JELLY! (I saw the Box trolls today).**

The sun had barely risen on Ponyville, and already Rainbow Dash was up and about. She soared through the sky, punching through clouds like they were made of cotton (which, of course, they basically were.) She had decided to visit Twilight today. Why, she couldn't say, but Rainbow had talked to Pinkie the other day, and right in the middle of their conversation, Pinkie had had one of her 'doozies'. And this time, it was a big one. Pinkie couldn't explain what had caused it, but she had said that whatever it was, it was gonna happen at Twilight's place. Rainbow remembered her enforcing the importance on her afterwards. _"It could be anything!" _She'd said. _"Maybe she's gonna promote you to the royal guard! Or maybe she's gonna make us princesses! Or maybe-"_ Rainbow had eventually tuned her out. If you weren't careful, Pinkie could talk you hind legs off.

Soon, Rainbow was at the giant crystal tree that was now Twilight's castle. She quickly located an open window and dived in, landing on the floor with a _thud. _"Hey, Twilight! What's up?"

Rainbow hadn't been expecting much; perhaps Twilight reading on her throne, or talking with Spike. However, what Rainbow Dash saw surprised her. On the crystal palace floor was painted a blood-red circle, surrounding a equally red five-pointed star. At each point was a small pile of strange things: curly leaves coated in small, needle-fine bristles, blossoms that were swirls of rich purple, blue, and gold, sharp pieces of glossy black quartz, and, in the center, a tar-black candle that glowed with an eerie blue flame. Five more of these candles were arranged in a pentagon in the center of the star. Twilight stood over it all, double and triple-checking everything.

The lavender alicorn flew into the air at Rainbow Dashes appearance, then turned and looked at her with a glare. "Rainbow Dash, you can't just barge in on people without warning!" she scolded, touching down again and ruffling her wings.

The cyan pegasus rolled her eyes. "Sure thing, Twilight. What's all this?" She lifted a hoof and pointed at the rather macabre setup. "Looks kinda...creepy." Rainbow gasped. "Are you gonna do an evil ritual, like Ahuizotl in _Daring Do and the Griffin's Goblet_?

Now it was Twilight's turn to roll her eyes. "Rainbow Dash, do I seem like the kind of pony that would preform dark rituals?" Rainbow grinned sheepishly. "Hehe. I guess not," she said.

Twilight smiled. "Actually, this is the setup for a new spell I'm trying. It draws energy from the natural magic of the environment, refracts and refines it through these-" Rainbow interrupted her. "That sounds like a lot of egghead stuff. What does the spell do?"

Twilight frowned, miffed at the egghead remark, but answered anyway. "It creates a thin spot in the fabric of the universe and, to put it simply, creates a window. Through this window, I should be able to see, or even communicate with, creatures from other worlds."

Rainbow's eyes widened. Pinkie had been right! "Really? That's awesome! Can I watch? Pleeeeeaaaaase?" She looked at Twilight with giant pink puppy-dog eyes.

Twilight groaned and put a hoof to her temples. "Fine. But you have to be absolutely silent! The tiniest distraction would have disastrous consequences!" Rainbow waved a hoof. "Yeah, yeah, be quiet, bad things, I got it. Start the spell! I wanna talk to some aliens!" Twilight huffed but said nothing. She turned back to her setup and focused. Her horn glowed magenta as the spell began.

First, the piles of leaves and flowers lifted a few inches into the air, then crumbled to dust as a green light flew out of them. Then, the light was sucked into the quartz, which glowed white briefly before melting into a red-hot blur. This molten crystal writhed in the air, before engulfing the candles and transforming into bright blue energy. All this energy was sucked into the middle of the star, were it joined the light of the other candles to form a single ball of pulsing blue energy. The light reflected off the crystals nearby, glittering and giving the whole room a mystical feel.

Rainbow couldn't be quiet any more. "This is so _awesome!"_ she burst out.

That little burst was enough. Twilight flinched, and her horn flickered. The blue energy writhed and twisted, turning blood red, freckled with black dots, like pickpricks of non-light. The black candles underneath melted and smoked. The whole circle began to glow as the magic went haywire. Twilight turned to look at Rainbow, her eyes glowing pure white as she struggled to contain the spell. "Rainbow!" she rasped. "Run!"

Rainbow just had time to unthinkingly jump on Twilight before the pulsing red orb exploded with a flash of white and a _bang _that shook her teeth.

Rainbow groaned and shakily got to her hooves, coughing. She looked around. The interior of the room was covered with soot. Smoke hung in the air like a thick blanket. She looked back at Twilight, who was sprawled out on the floor, her horn smoking and occasionally shooting sparks."Twilight? Twilight, are you okay?" she said anxiously, nudging Twilight with her muzzle. Twilight groaned and stood up shakily, rubbing her horn with one hoof. "R-rainbow? What happened?"

But Rainbow didn't hear her. The smoke had cleared, and she finally noticed something in the middle of what had once been the cirlce. Or rather, _six _somethings. For, tangled in a heap on the floor, were six of the strangest creatures Rainbow Dash had ever seen.

The only thing Rainbow could compare them to were the monkeys Fluttershy kept at her cottage. Only _these_ things were far too tall. They had no fur or tails, but instead, matted manes in dull shades of brown, black, and yellow, although one of them had a mane that was reddish-white. They wore ragged clothes caked with dirt and- Luna's crown, was that _blood_? Rainbow turned to Twilight. "Uh, Twilight?" she stammered. "I think your spell worked a bit _too _well."


	2. Into the ball of glowy red light

**Hello, everyone! Sorry about the wait, but I have a surprise for you! Today, in honor of Markiplier's charity **_**and **_**the fact that he recently hit 4 MILLION subscribers, me and my old chum Cecilia Green decided to have...**

** THE FIRST EVER CECILIA/CHYNA SUPER SPECIAL AMAZING UPDATE SPECTACULAR!**

** Yep! I'm updating like three chapters at least today! There's this, as well as two chapters for my slightly more popular story, The Mundy of Fabletown, which you can read when you're done here, if you want. Or, you can check out Cecilia Green's stuff! Or, you could watch the markiplier stream on his Twitch account all day today, and check out his youtube channel. He is a hilarious guy, and I'm sure most of you would like him.**

** Now, COMMENT REVIEW TIME!**

** Cecilia Green: Thanks, pal! There are a **_**few **_**other stories like this, but glad you like this one.**

** TheKittenAuthor: Jellyjellyjellyjellyjellyjelly! (glad you like the story, and you should totally read the maximum Ride series. It's great!)**

** Remember, leave a comment if you like, so I feel motivated to write more!**

** But enough blabbing. LET THE STORY BEGIN!**

_Ten minutes earlier..._

"C'mon, Nudge!" I called, pulling over mid-flap so I could hover impatiently in the air. "Stay with the group!"

Nudge swooped over, attacking me with her most evil weapon: giant, cutesy Bambi-eyes. She blinked at me, eyelashes fluttering like a baby deer, and made her cutest pouting face."But Maaaax!" She whined. "Everything looks so pretty up here! Do we really need to be in such a hurry, anyway?"

She was right, of course. The countryside view was breathtaking, little patches of green criss-crossing on the ground, freckled with little shiny pond circles. But this wasn't the time for sightseeing. I stuck my hands on my hips in my best leader Max pose and steeled myself. "Yes, we do. We don't have time to look at every lake and tree on the ground. We have places to go, government bigwigs to see, adults to argue with yada yada yada. And my mom won't be happy if we're late. So _come on_!"

Nudge pouted and crossed her arms. "Fine." She took off, working her tawny brown wings to catch up with the rest of the flock, who were a couple of yards ahead of us. I sighed. Those eyes were going to be the death of me.

I mean, if Itex, Jeb, and the Flyboys didn't kill me first.

Flapping hard, I banked to the left a bit and came up besides Fang, who was carrying Total in his arms. As usual, the sight of him flying, looking dark and mysterious, dark black wings glinting indigo in the sun, made my heart stutter.

Ugh. Stupid girl emotions.

Shaking my head a bit to clear away any leftover Fang-fuzzies, I looked at him and poked his arm. "Want me to take a turn?" I asked.

Fang, per usual, shook his head silently, with a look that clearly said, "I am a big boy. I can carry a dog for ten minutes." Total, however, had other ideas. "Yeah, Max!" He yapped. "Let me fly with you! And go fast! I like feeling the wind in my fur!"

Fang rolled his eyes. "Fine. Go hang out with Max." He passed me the small black terrier, who, wiggling with excitement, promptly licked my face. Ugh. Gross.

"Max! Do you hear that?" Called Iggy from farther ahead. Heaving a giant sigh, I flapped over to Iggy, trying to ignore Total's little yaps of excitement. "What is it, Igs?" I called. "Hear what?" He shook his head, like he was trying to get water out of his ear. He looked at me with sightless blue eyes, somehow being able to look me in the face without knowing where my face was. "It's like a humming sound. You really can't hear it?"

I opened my mouth to answer that No, I couldn't hear it, but Total interrupted. "I can hear it, Iggy!" He barked. "Is it getting louder?" Iggy tilted his head, listened, then nodded. "Yeah. It definitely is louder now. Gazzy, did you turn on the Sonic Boom we made the other day?"

I gaped at him. "Wait, Soni-" Gazzy interrupted. "Nope," he chirped (Ha, get it? Chirp? Like a bird? Cause we're-ugh. Forget it.) "Remember, we made the coded button sequence so it didn't accidentally go off, remember?"

"Ok, hold up," I said, trying to wrap my head around the fact that these two had somehow managed to hide _another _bomb from me. Where did they put these things? When did they make them? "As worrying as this mysterious hum is, I want to know where the heck you guys are hiding a-"

"Max? I think you might want to see this," Fang called. I heaved another giant, lung tearing sigh (lotta sighing today) and turned, noticing that everyone else had stopped moving and was hovering in mid-air. "Can't it wait?" I grumbled.

This time, it was Nudge who answered. "Max, you _really _might want to see this _now,_" she said urgently.

I felt a tiny twinge of panic. Was it Flyboys? Whitecoats with jetpacks? Something equally horrifying? Flying over to where everyone else had stopped, I stared.

Hanging in the air was a blue ball of glowy light. It didn't move, or anything, just hung there, like a giant blob of lava-lamp stuff. Nudge, Angel, and Gazzy were gawking at it, jaws somewhere around their knees. Iggy just stared blindly at it, the blue glow illuminating his sightless eyes. Fang had one eyebrow raised and looked almost amused. Total just leaned forward and smelled it. "It smells kinda like...horse!" he exclaimed, little black nose twitching. "Horse, and flowers, and rocks, and something else...something kinda...sugary! And it's humming, too!"

"Sooo, it's a flowery, humming rock horse eating candy?" I joked, trying to keep things light, while my heart hammered in my chest. What was this? Some new experiment? Some kind of bomb? What was it going to do?

I got my answer sooner then I expected.

Suddenly, the whole thing turned dark red, dotted with black, and started twisting and writhing in the air. "Whoa!" I yelled, backpedaling mid-flap. "Back up! Back up!"

The rest of the flock started flying away, until the ball of whatever it was started sucking air towards it like a vacuum cleaner. I flapped as hard away from it as I could, squeezing Total against my chest so I didn't drop him, but I was still moving backwards. "Max!" Nudge shrieked from somewhere to my left. "What's happening?!"

"I don't know!" I yelled back, spitting hair out of my mouth. "Hold on to something!"

With one last pull, I lost my balance and went tumbling through the air. Everything was dark red, and all I could hear was a rushing sound. I felt the others banging into me as we all were sucked into the giant red light. There was one giant, headache-inducing blast of white light, and a bang so loud I swear I felt something in my ears explode. Then, blackness swept over me in a crushing wave, and I passed out.


	3. Ponies and a punch to the nose

**Hello, everyone! I don't have much to say, except for a sad tale:**

**There once was a girl who was sleeping. As she slept, she dreamed. Suddenly, she was like, "Holy Crap! This is a dream!" the girl was very excited, because now she could control the dream. She decided to try and make a bowl of ice cream appear. She closed her dream eyes and focused, imagining the creamy treat. When she opened her eyes, she saw, in her hand, a beautiful bowl painted with autumm leaves. However, the bowl was completely empty. No ice cream anywhere.**

**The moral? Dreams can be trolls. (And yes, this wasn't fake. This truly happened to me last night.)**

**Ok, whatever. COMMENT REVIEW TIME!**

**Dr. Device: glad you like it! i try, I really do. I hope you become a frequent commenter! And speaking of frequent commenters...**

**Cecilia Green:Well, I hope this is exciting, buddy.**

**Remember, leave a comment, or I will shrivel up and stop writing for weeks due to lack of motivation. Now...LET THE STORY BEGIN!**

I finally came to, groaning and lifting a hand to my temples, feeling the beginning of a giant headache. As far as I could tell, I was lying down, on something really hard and sort of…warm. The last thing I remembered was being sucked into a giant blue-then-red ball of light, which then exploded and knocked me out. How long had I been unconscious?

"Rainbow! I think this one's waking up!" Squealed a high pitched, girly voice inches from my face. Suddenly awake, my eyes snapped open, only to be assaulted by enough pink to give Nudge a fashion faux-pas heart attack. Giant, and I mean _giant _blue eyes stared at me crazily, and the mouth beneath them broke into a horrifyingly wide grin. "Rise and shine, sleepy head!" the face screeched.

I didn't even need to think about it. Screechy voice plus creepy smile plus lack of personal space equals scared and angry Max. I swung my fist at the pink thing, and heard a satisfying _crunch_ and a shriek of pain. I scooted back as fast as I could, then, finally, took a look around.

I was, like I thought, lying down. The hard floor turned out to be made entirely of…crystal? Shiny lavender crystal that was so bright, it burned my eyes. The whole room was made of crystal, actually, just in a ton of different colors. The room itself was long, like a hallway, and had a ton of windows that showed a sky that seemed _waaaay_ bluer than normal.

In front of me was the pink thing, which, now that I looked was actually… a tiny, pink horse. It was a bright pale pink, with perfectly straight raspberry hair and giant, watery blue eyes, which were looking at me with a mixture of fear and pain. Tears were running down the horse's face, and blood was gushing from its nose.

"Why did you do that?" The horse wailed. A rainbow blur zipped to the pink horse's side, and turned out to be another horse, blue (Total would have called it _cyan_) with-I kid you not- rainbow hair and wings. There was also a little tattoo, a red, yellow and blue lightning bolt coming from a cloud, on its side. What the heck?

"Pinkie Pie? Are you ok?" The rainbow horse yelled, wings ruffling. It turned and glared at me with furious magenta eyes. (Which doesn't sound scary at all, but trust me, it was.) "What did you do to her, you weird monkey?"

I blinked in surprise. Did this mutant rainbow horse just call _me _weird? No way. I activated snarky Max mode and stood up shakily, putting my hands on my hips and glaring right back at the weird little bugger. "Well, excuuuuse me," I snarled. "If you have a problem with how I act, I guess your little cotton candy friend here shouldn't have stuck _her_ face in _my_ face. I mean, who does that?"  
>The rainbow horse seemed completely shocked at my attitude, which I was used to. Most people (can I say people? Or should I say horse?) were. It growled, bearing tiny little horse teeth. "Why don't you pick on somepony else, then? Somepony cool enough to whip your flank!" With that, the rainbow pony (I started to realize it was way too small to be a horse) spread its wings and flew right at me.<p>

If I hadn't been so creeped out by all of this, I would have started laughing. It was so cute when they thought they stood a chance.

As the pony got close enough, I grabbed it by the leg, and twirled, using my momentum to carry it around it a circle and throw it against a shimmery wall. It hit the wall with a _thud, _then fell to the ground, groaning. "Gah, my wings…" It muttered.

I stood there, cracking my knuckles. "Had enough?" I quipped. The rainbow pony opened its mouth to answer, but then a voice screamed from somewhere to my right. "Rainbow Dash!"

I turned to look. Standing a few feet away from me was a purple pony (how many were there?) with darker purple hair with one indigo stripe and one pink stripe. A purple horn protruded from its forehead. Flaring from its side were two lavender wings, bigger than the wings on the rainbow pony. It stood, glaring at me, and suddenly its horn glowed pink. "You leave my friends alone!" it barked.

Suddenly, my vision went pink. I whipped my head around, and realized I was glowing. "What the heck?" I yelped. I felt myself lifted off the ground, and I started squirming, trying to escape. 'Put me down!" I yelled, panicking. But the pony stayed firm. "Come on, Rainbow Dash. Let's go get you cleaned up," It said, turning and walking away. I realized I was following it, bobbing through the air like a little kid's balloon. "Fang! Gazzy! Iggy! Nudge! Angel! Total! Where are you?" I yelled, looking around, trying to find the rest of my flock, but they were gone.

The rainbow pony walked next to me, smirking. "The rest of your weird group is being locked up right now!" She said, triumphantly. "And you're next!"

I started hyperventilating. Images of dog crates, needles, and white lab coats started flashing through my head. I was _not _going back to that, especially not because of some stupid rainbow ponies.

"No! _Let me go!_" I screeched, finally unfurling my wings and flapping in a desperate attempt to escape. Surprisingly, it works, shocking the purple unicorn enough so that her horn flicked and I hit the ground. I flipped and ran, shoving the two ponies over and running past them as fast as I could. "Hey! Come back here!" I heard the rainbow one yell. But I kept running, through the ridiculously long hallway. As much as I wanted to stop and fight both of them, the unicorn wouldn't be beatable, and I figured getting away from it would be best. I had to find the rest of the flock and figure out where the heck we were.


	4. The Director can be really stupid

**Hello there, everyone! I is sick today (ugh) but I can still type! You all better hope i don't get carpal tunnel or something.**

**I don't have much to say, except COMMENT REVIEW TIME!**

**Demigodshadowhunter365: *le gasp* A fellow demigod! Quick, who is your Godly parent? I got Dionysus. Also, glad you like this, and I hope you comment more!**

**TheKittenAuthor: It wasn't supposed to...Ok, maybe it was.**

**Now, LET THE STORY BEGIN!**

Few people knew of Silverwood Containment Center, a secret, state of the art containment facility for holding the most hardened criminals from all over the globe. Some would call being there an honor, for few devious masterminds had ever concocted plans vile enough to land them behind its walls.

Silverwood was located on a small, uncharted island just a couple hundred miles off the coast of Siberia. It was surrounded by a towering barbed-wire fence, flowing with several thousand volts of electricity. State of the art cameras were positioned at every corner, as well as steel watchtowers occupied by heavily armed guards day and night. These guards, tough and unforgiving, had been conditioned to immediately shoot anything dressed in the dark orange uniform of the prisoners. The building itself was a tall, concrete fortress, reinforced steel beams sunk into the bricks and chicken wire embedded in the bulletproof glass windows. Once locked inside, the chance of escape was 0.00001%, and that's if you were lucky.

Deep inside Silverwood, there were long rows of cells, all containing the worst criminals from the last cells weren't much to look at at; just featureless grey wall, meager beds fixed with the foundation sunk into the floor, tin sinks with a matching toilet, and a reinforced steel door with a slot for meals. The same went for the prisoners as well. Some paced nonstop, muttering furiously, while others slumped on the ground, silent. However, they all had thin, sunken eyes, heavy with hopelessness, and a general air of unkemptness.

In one of these cells, hunched and staring at the wall, was Maryanne Janson, more commonly known as the Director of Itex, imprisoned for the planned and attempted genocide of over five billion people worldwide. To anyone passing by, nothing would have stood out, just another occupant sitting, talking quietly to themselves as they planned their never-fulfilled, half- hearted revenge. However, The Director wasn't talking to her hand, but rather, to the small mic threaded through it. Decades of research had enabled the creation of entire sound systems to be threaded through the human body, allowing for easy, efficient communication. There was something else about her, too. Her eyes weren't blank and dull with lost hope, instead, they sparkled with excitement, although her sunken sockets and general unkempt appearance made her look just as lost as the rest. "And are you positive of this, ter Borcht?" she hissed.

"Definitely," came a voice from her hand, male and weighed down heavily by a Schwartznegger-esque accent. "My sources indicate dat de avian experiments haff vanished, at de same time dere monitars picked up de strange energy signature. Dat cannot be a coincidence. I haff calculated every possible explanation, and dis is da one dat vorks." The voice paused, seemingly relishing there next sentence.

"De small vone must haff developed de ability to teleport."

The Director smiled, a terrible smile, the gears of her brain turning, formulating plans with her decades of knowledge speeding the process. "Have your friends re-create the energy signature. With this power, we could easily restart the By-Half Plan, and this time-" she frowned, remembering her mortifying defeat at the hands of that immature failure, Maximum, "-we will succeed. No one would be able to stop us, not if we could just..._relocate _the opposition." She laughed.

The male voice laughed along with her. "Relocate, indeed. To de Arctic. Or a volcano. Or space, even. De possibilities are endless!"

"Exactly. Get your scientists working on this as soon as possible. Oh, and if you were to see those avian failures-" she paused, reveling in her plans. "-Spare all of them. Except Maximum. She is the glue that bonds the rest. Destroy her, and the rest will fall into line soon enough."

The voice that came through the mic sounded uncertain. "Are you sure? She could still be of use to us..."

"Don't question me, ter Borcht!" Snapped the Director. "I know what I'm doing. Just get it right!" And, with that, she snapped her fingers twice, severing the link. The director leaned back against the wall, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Soon," she murmured. "Soon..."

* * *

><p>I threw open the glittery doors at the end of the hall, flinging myself through and slamming it shut behind me. I whipped my head around, trying to find something to block it with, and noticed a circle of chairs arranged in the middle of what looked a lot like a throne room. I ran over, grabbed the nearest chair, and stood it against the door, jamming it shut.<p>

There was a thump on the other side, and then a groan. "Owwwww," complained the rainbow pony's voice. "Twilight, why won't it open?"

I grinned to myself. Stupid candy ponies, thinking they could outsmart a Max. As if!

"Stand back, Rainbow!" Barked the other pony. I heard, on the other side of the door, a noise that sounded familiar: just like the noise some of Gazzy and Iggy's bombs made right before they...

I realized what was going to happen and threw myself backwards just as the door exploded off it's hinges. The purple unicorn was standing in the doorway, sides heaving, horn sparkling like Nudge's favorite belt. "Grab it!" The unicorn shrieked.

There was a rainbow blur, and suddenly, I was on the ground, with the rainbow pony on my chest. "I got it, Twilight!" she yelled. "Do the spell, quick!"

just as i was about to jump up and throw this rainbow pony into another wall, there was a zapping noise, and a pink ball of light hit me in the face. It blasted me back into one of the chairs, which were made of crystal. Very hard, not-fun-to-be-thrown-on crystal. "Ow!" I shouted. Or, at least, tried to shout. Instead, all that came out of my mouth was a feeble little squeak. What the heck? I didn't make feeble squeaks!

I tried to stand up, but found out that I couldn't move. My limbs had all locked up,, like the one time the whitecoats at The School had injected some new magic juice into my back. (I hadn't been able to move for three days after that). The only thing I could do was stare as the two ponies got closer and closer.

"Good job, Twilight!" said the rainbow pony. "Let's take this thing to the others!" The unicorn nodded once. "Ok. Rainbow, go tell Applejack to get her best ropes. This thing is strong."

The rainbow pony saluted, then took off in a rainbow flash. The purple unicorn looked at me critically. "You can understand me, right? Blink once for no, twice for yes."

The conversation she had just had with the rainbow pony had freaked me out (Max no likey ropes), but not so much that I didn't have any snark left. I blinked once.

The unicorn groaned. "Great, this makes everything much- Wait a minute, you understood that one blink meant no. You must understand me!"

Oh, darn. It was no fun when your captors were smart.

"Well, if you can understand me, then you must know that I don't take kindly to creatures hurting my friends. Since you don't want to cooperate, I'm going to have to run some tests so I can find out where you came from and send you back.

I only heard one word out of her whole rant.

Tests.


	5. Never call Total a doggie

** Hello everyone! Now, today I am trying something else. As you all know, my chapters are usually about 1,000 words long each. However, now I am trying to have **_**at least **_**2,000 words. This may mean later chapters. Sorry.**

** Now...COMMENT REVIEW TIME!**

** TheKittenAuthor: Whoa, whoa! Calm down! Twilight hasn't done anything yet. It isn't like she kept all the alicorn magic, tortured and raped all the princesses, and then devised devious tortures for each of her friends which all involved some very painful rape! (Trust me, I know. This was an actual thing once in a fanfic. Ugh).**

** Demigodshadowhunter365: Hey, Frank is a son of Mars, dag nabbit! LOL, jk. Glad you like it!**

** Me: You're welcome for Siberia. And no pony **_**punching, **_**but possibly some pony kicking. Or pony mind-hacking.**

** bluebacon: Glad you liked it! I noticed that there weren't a lot of fanfics for this crossover, and even less that were anything more than abandoned oneshots. So I was like, why not?**

**katlover12: i can be a troll some times. You learn to love it.**

**Remember, leave a comment, or I will be sad and not write for weeks!**

** Seriously.**

** Now, LET THE STORY BEGIN!**

The purple unicorn started walking away, and I realized that I was glowing pink again, lifting into the air and floating behind her like a kite.

Great. This again.

I tried to move, even just to squirm a bit, but I was still totally frozen. Whatever that pony had zapped me with still hadn't worn off, and until it did, I was forced to float along like a grumpy Avian-American parade float. Not a pretty picture.

The unicorn walked through the doorway, which was still smoking from the horn-blast that had hit it. It dragged me down the long, glittery hallway. As I was floating along, I started wondering what the heck had brought the Flock and me here. Using my Maximum Holmes skills, I could guess it had something to do with the glowy ball of light we had all gotten sucked into. The question was, where did it come from? Who sent it?

Sadly, the answer wasn't so elementary.

Once we got to the end of the hall, the unicorn turned to the left, facing another glittery door, this time in a pale shade of yellow. The doorknob started glowing pink, and then the door swung open. Inside was probably the weirdest thing I had ever seen (and trust me, I have seen some crazy things in my life).

The room itself was weird on its own. Of course, everything was crystal, but the decorations were ridiculously fancy, if not a little small. There was a giant, fancy, ankle-deep plushie rug, in shades of blue and purple, trimmed with little glittery gold tassels. There were fancy crystal chairs everywhere, as well as little tables with little crystal lamps on them. The curtains, heavy violet fabric covered in golden glitter, were drawn. In short, it looked like a royal sitting room that Angel and Nudge decorated. I didn't notice any of this, though.

The first thing that I noticed was my flock. The second thing I noticed was the ropes. And the third thing I noticed were the ponies.

Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel were each hog-tied, ropes around their wrists and ankles, sitting perfectly still. If I had to guess, I'd say they'd all been frozen by the unicorn, just like me. Total was nowhere to be seen. Standing around the room were (oh, joy!) more rainbow-colored ponies. As if we didn't have enough of those already!

There was the rainbow one from before, flapping in the air, and for the first time, I noticed it's wings were _waaaaaay_ to small to keep it up. So how the heck was it flying? It kept shooting me dirty looks as it hovered there like a weird bird.

There was the pink pony too, only now, its hair was giant and poofy, like Nudge's hair in the morning. It seemed a little happier, although it did have a giant white bandage over its nose. I also saw it had a mark on its flank, three blue and yellow balloons. Did they all have those weird tattoos?

There was a white unicorn with dark purple hair curled in a fancy-shmancy type way, with really long eyelashes and three blue diamonds on its side. It was staring at me with a face like I was a dog that rolled in something gross and jumped on it.

There was an orange pony with blond hair embarrassingly like my own, pulled back in a loose ponytail (hah! Get it? Ponytail? Cause they're-aw, forget it.) It also had a little cowboy hat on. It's mark was three red apples. It was staring at me with curiosity, which made me _really _uncomfortable.

Lastly, there was a buttery yellow pony with wings that had its back to me. I could see it had a long pink tail and three pink butterflies for a mark. I wondered for a second what it was doing, but then I heard-

"MAX!" barked a voice from behind the yellow pony. There was a flash of black, and then, Total was underneath me, jumping up to look at me, completely ignoring the purple unicorn, whose eyes had lit up.

"He can talk?" yelled the unicorn. Before Total could do anything, he started glowing pink, and was lifted into the air until he was eye to eye with the unicorn. He yelped and squirmed, then huffed and snarled at it. "Put me down this instant!" he yapped.

Weirdly enough, the unicorn listened, setting him down on the ground and looking at him like he was a Christmas present. Total seemed just as surprised as I was, but recovered quickly. "That's better," he sniffed. "Now, let my friends go, too!"

"Your friends? You mean these things?" said the unicorn, lifting a nubby little hoof to point at my Flock, all trussed up like turkeys. Total growled again. "Things? I'll teach you to talk about my friends that way, you uncultured mule!" he barked, jumping into the air, straight at the unicorn's face.

The unicorn yelped, and suddenly there was a flash and a bang and I hit the floor, no longer glowing, although I still couldn't move. The unicorn had popped out of existence and reappeared a few feet away. It could teleport? Oh, this just got better and better.

"Max!" said Total, running up to me and licking my face. Blegh. I couldn't even move to wipe away the slobber. Total sniffed me, then backed away and sneezed. "Ugh, you smell like gummy bear roadkill," he muttered. "Too much sugar."

"Twilight! Are you ok? Did that dreadful animal get you?" said the white unicorn in a shamcy, snobby female voice. Ignoring Total's outraged bark of, "_Creature?" _it galloped over to the purple unicorn (Twilight?) and put a hoof on its shoulder. 'Twilight' shook _her_ (I think it was probably a safe guess) head to clear it, then nodded. "I'm fine, Rarity. He missed."

'Rarity' smiled briefly, then turned to Total. "Now then, why in Equestria would you be _friends _with these frightful creatures? They clearly have no manners, and, if I may, seem less than tidy."

Okay, now _this _was too much. You can chase me, drag me through the air, and surprise me with creepy cotton-candy ponies, but you do _not _call me 'less than tidy'. I cleared my throat as loud as I could, which wasn't much, because I was still frozen, but I think I got the message across. The white unicorn, Rarity, turned and stared at me.

"Can...can you _understand _me?"

Thankfully, the frozen-ness did not extend to eye rolls. Rarity turned to Twilight. "Twilight, would you be able to undo the spell, so it can talk?"

Twilight thought for a moment, then nodded to the orange pony in the cowboy hat. "Applejack, tie it up first, just in case."

Applejack (okay, now they were just being silly. Twilight, Rarity, and now a cereal brand?) nodded. "Sure thing, Twi," she said in a feminine, exaggerated country accent. she trotted up to me, and for the first time I noticed the _gigantic _amount of rope it was carrying.

"What?" barked Total. "Stop right there, you...you...cheap cereal pony!" He charged after Applejack, but suddenly started glowing blue and floated into the air. He yelped and squirmed, then turned and glared at Twilight. "Put me down!"

"Actually, this is me," Rarity butted in, and I saw that her horn was glowing the same color as Total. "Now, come along, doggie. I think it would be best if you stepped outside for a bit."

Oh no. She called Total 'doggie'. I held my breath and braced myself for an explosion.

Total just stared for a second, before snarling his biggest snarl yet. _**"Doggie?" **_he screeched, thrashing in the air like a fish in his attempt to get to Rarity. "I have _never _been so _insulted _in my _life_, especially not by a carousel horse! You _put me down now!"_

Rarity blinked, then frowned. "_Carousel horse? _I am a _lady, _and would appreciate being addressed as such. Now, let's go!"

With a flip of her fancy purple hair, she stalked off, Total floating along behind her, still howling insults until the door slammed and I couldn't hear him anymore.

Applejack stood staring for a second, then shook her head and started walking towards me again.

Now, maybe I mentioned this already, but Max no likey ropes. Still frozen, I blinked really hard, and tried to say, "No!" All that came out was, "Ngh!"

"Um, Applejack?" said a quiet voice from behind the orange pony. She turned around. Standing behind her, head hidden in its long pink hair, was the yellow pony. it blinked at Applejack with giant, (and yes, I will admit it) adorable blue-green eyes. "I, uh, don't think you should tie it up," said the pony, before squeaking a little and hiding deeper in its mane. "I mean, if that's okay with you."

"Fluttershy, didn't you see what it did to Pinkie?" said Applejack. "This thing is more dangerous than a timberwolf. We can't just let it sit there without tyin' it up."

"Um, I know, but..." 'Fluttershy' shut up, stepping back and looking at me sadly with big teal eyes. Note to self: When you finally get away, be nice to Fluttershy. She isn't _too _terrible.

Applejack came up to me and, somehow, using only her mouth, tied my arms and legs very, _very _tightly. I could already feel the lack of blood in my limbs. Great. I started hyperventilating a little. I _reeeaaaalllly _don't like being tied up.

"Stand back," said Twilight, turning to me and closing her eyes. Her horn glowed pink, and of course, I did too. There was a sudden rush of heat through my body, and then I hit the floor again with a _thump._

I groaned and sat up as best I could, twitching my fingers and making sure everything still worked. It did. I lifted my head and glared at the ponies, who were looking at me nervously.

Actually, _really _nervously. I smiled to myself. This could be fun.

I sat perfectly still, just staring and staring like a creepo, occasionally blinking very slowly. The ponies started fidgeting, until the rainbow one lowered itself to the ground and nudged Fluttershy. "Go on, Fluttershy," she hissed. "Talk to it!"

Fluttershy squealed adorably, than shuffled up to me, wings twitched. "Um, hello," she said. She stood there for a few seconds, pawing the ground with a hoof, then spoke again. "What's your name? If you don't mind me asking," she added quickly.

After briefly debating the pros and cons of lying, I decided to go all out. "Maximum," I said carefully. "Just call me Max."

"Oh, um, well, that's a lovely name, um, Max," said Fluttershy. She was quiet for a few more seconds.

"Well, not that I don't _love _being tied up and interrogated by rainbow ponies, but I need to go," I snarked. "I left some cookies in the oven, and I don't want them to burn."

"Oh my gosh! You have cookies on your planet, too?" squealed the pink pony, who had somehow popped out from underneath Fluttershy, although I _know _she had been on the other end of the room a few seconds ago. "That's amazing! Do you have chocolate chips, too? Or cinnamon? Orsugarorspiceorlemonsormilkorapplesorpieor-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said, trying to keep my head from exploding from the speed of the questions. This pony rivaled Nudge for a mouth. "Yeah, I have all that stuff, too. Now, Twilight-that is your name, right?-could you please untie me and my friends, and preferably unfreeze them as well?"

Twilight stared, apparently surprised that I knew her name. she opened her mouth, but the rainbow pony butted in. "Untie you? So you can beat us up? Forget it."

I blew my bangs out of my eyes with an exasperated huff. "Listen, that was an accident," I said. "I'm really twitchy when I wake up, and your friend was right in my face, and I just...reacted." I smiled sheepishly at the pink pony. "Sorry," I muttered.

The pony giggled. "Aww, that's ok, Maxy!' she squealed.

The rainbow pony was clearly not convinced. "If it was an 'accident', then how come you threw me at a wall and ran away?" she persisted.

I rolled my eyes. "Hey, _you _charged at me first," I said. "Where I'm from, when people rush me, they usually want to punch me in the face. So pardon me for not giving you a hug."

The rainbow pony's face went beet red, and she backed up, embarrassed. "Whatever," she muttered.

I turned back to Twilight. "So, as you can see, this was all a big misunderstanding. I would appreciate it if you let me and my friends go so we could try and get home."

Twilight tilted her head and seemed to think for a moment. I held my breath, waiting for her answer. Would she let us go? This was the nicest I had ever been to someone who tied me up and carried me like a kite, but she hadn't seemed to convinced by my story...

Twilight took a deep breath and opened her mouth.

"Ok."


	6. First untie, then give pie

**Hello, everyone! Sorry this is late, but I have other fanfics to write, and juggling the two in addition to making the chapters longer when I can only write on weekends is hard. Also, sorry this is short. I wanted to get something up. This is what I got. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Also, I have something to ask...**

** Anyone out there with a Deviantart, would you be interested in doing some cover art for my stories? Send me a PM if you're interested, and I'll explain the details. Please and thank you.**

** Now...COMMENT REVIEW TIME!**

** TheKittenAuthor: Here's how I see it. 1) Unknown creature, 2) acts violently towards two of your best friends, and 3) in a world where only the most ancient and evil of villains do so much as throw a punch. This is not a good combo for forgiving Twilight.**

** katlover12: Sorry you had to wait. Also, *SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SERIOUS SPOILER HAPPENING RIGHT NOW* don't you think Twilight agreed rather quickly?**

** MysteryPerson: Why are you so dead set on beating up Pinkie? Come on! Also, I modeled the insults off of what a friend of mine thinks of MLP. I hope she liked them, if she reads this :)**

** Dr Device: A delightful read? Dawwww, I feel all happy when people use fancy words in their comments!**

** ilikepercabeth123: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You don't have to shout. Glad you like this. Like your Percy Jackson ship, by the by.**

** Now, listen carefully, everyone...IF YOU LIKE THIS YOU SHOULD COMMENT. PLEASE. I NEED THE COMMENTS OR I WILL SHRIVEL UP. PLEASE. TAKE THE TEN SECONDS IT TAKES TO SAY THAT YOU LIKED OR HATED THIS. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S FLAMES, AS LONG AS THEY HAVE LOGIC. JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING.**

** *ahem* Now, in the name of Markiplier (I'm trying to mention my favorite Youtubers as I go) LET THE STORY BEGIN!**

I barely was able to hold back a giant sigh of relief. No reason to let the rainbow ponies know that I was seriously worried that they were gonna run pony experiments on me. What would those even be? Effects of prolonged exposure to cuddling?

"Are you sure about this, Twi?" said Applejack, putting a nubby hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Ah mean, ah guess Max here-" she pointed the hoof at me, "-_might _have hurt Pinkie on accident, but what about the others? They might not be so friendly."

"Actually," I piped up, before Twilight could say anything. "I'm considered the roughest, toughest one out of all of us. You can ask them." This was true, of course. Even Fang had admitted it. No need to tell them I was only being polite so I could get the heck out of these ropes, and if they hadn't froze me, they all would have been out the window by now.

"I'm sure, Applejack," said Twilight, in a flat voice. She looked at me, and her giant purple eyes were dull and glassy. Suddenly, I started wondering if the freezy thing that she did extended to stopping the mind hack powers of a devious six year old. I sneaked a peek over to Angel, who, even though she was frozen, was able to wink at me. So, no for the mind hack question, then.

"Untie Max, and I'll unfreeze the rest of them," Twilight continued, still sounding a little like the latest pony-bot from Drones-R-Us. She turned to my tied-up Flock, and her horn started glowing. All of the other ponies were standing around her. The rainbow one was practically, steaming at the ears, Pinkie Pie one was bouncing on her hooves, and Fluttershy was standing back a bit. I couldn't look anymore, though, because Applejack stepped up in front of me and started untying me. "Uh, sorry about the knots, sugar cube," she said, with a sheepish smile. "Ah wasn't sure how tight to make 'em. Twilight said you were pretty strong."

"Yeah, well, you know, I try to eat right, exercise daily, that kind of stuff," I said, rubbing feeling back into my arms and legs as she untied them.

The pony froze for a second when I said 'eat'. "Speakin' of eatin', I bet you critters are pretty hungry. Do you eat apples?"

Did we eat apples? What kind of a question was that? What did she think we were, aliens? Oh, wait. Scratch that. She probably did. "Of course we eat apples," I said, a little exasperated. "We'll eat pretty much anything." Oh, wait. Ponies. "Except hay. Or grass. Or stuff like that."

"How about apple pie?" Said Applejack, puffing out her chest a little. "The Apple family makes the best apple pies in Ponyville."

Apple pies? Oh, gosh, I really hoped I wasn't drooling right now. Wait, Ponyville? Well, whoever made this town got a zero in the creative names department. "Ponyville, huh?" I said, trying not to laugh. "Where would that be, exactly?" Applejack opened her mouth to answer, but suddenly-

"Hi! My name's Pinkie Pie! What's your's?" I stood up, finally free from all the ropes, and saw Pinkie Pie was right in Nudge's face. Nudge, instead of doing what I did, blinked for a minute, then beamed. "My name's Nudge. Can I just say that you are the most adorable thing ever, and if I wasn't tied up, I would totally hug you right now?"

Pinkie's eyes got huge, bigger than I thought possible (maybe she was secretly a mutant, and had, like, puppy DNA?) She made a noise exactly like a cartoon _squee _sound effect, then untied Nudge in a blur of pink hooves. "Nice to meet you, Nudge!" she squealed, giving her a giant hug.

Nudge returned the hug with what I thought was a bit too much enthusiasm. "You too, Pinkie! So, what the heck is this place, anyway? It looks like a crystal house." Ah, Nudge. Always the first to make friends, even when the friends were colorful horses.

"You okay, Max?" Came a quiet voice, _two inches from my ear._ I jumped a foot in the air, then turned and huffed. Fang was right behind me, wearing his best poker face. "Stop doing that!" I said, shoving him away from me. "I'm hunky-dory. Thanks for asking."

"Just checking," said Fang, still poker faced. He turned to Applejack, who, when I'd yelled, had jumped in the air and hidden behind me. Fang held out his hand. "Name's Fang."

"Uh...How d'ya do, Fang," said Applejack, reaching out a hoof and shaking Fang's hand. "I'm Applejack."

"Max!" chimed a voice, and as I turned around, Angel jumped on me and gave me a hug strong enough to crack ribs. "Hey, Angel," I choked, trying to prize her off of my torso. "Can't breathe."

"Sorry." She backed off, then turned to look at Applejack. "No, Max isn't my mom. Angel's my name."

Wait, this pony thought that Angel was...Ew. Ew ew ew.

Applejack's eyes got wider than pie plates. "H-how?' she stammered. I crouched down until I could whisper in her ear. "She can read minds. Don't play cards with her."

"Hey, Max!" called Iggy, and I turned to see that him and Gazzy were finally up, unfrozen and untied. "Gazzy says we all just got tied up by rainbow horses with wings and horns. Please tell me he's lying."

I sighed. "Nope," I said. "He isn't." Iggy groaned. "Just when I thought our lives couldn't get freakier," he mumbled.

"Do you have a problem with rainbows? Huh?" said the rainbow pony, flying up until she was right in Iggy's face. Once she saw his eyes, she recoiled. "Ugh, what's with your eyes? Why are they all pale?"

"Hey, don't sound so grossed out," said Iggy, in an irritated way. "Don't you have blind horses here?"

The rainbow pony gasped. "You're blind?" She said incredulously. Suddenly, she got a sneaky grin on her face. "So, you can't see anything I'm doing right now?" she continued, while pulling stupid faces and sticking out her tongue at him.

Iggy frowned. "I know that question. That's the, 'I'm making stupid faces at you because you can't tell' question. Cut it out."

The rainbow pony flinched, then fluttered off, face bright red (I have no idea how we could see that her face was red through all that fur, so don't ask.) Iggy and Gazzy walked up to me, followed by Nudge, who had finished talking with Pinkie Pie. "Max!" she squealed, giving me a hug that was just as bone-crushing as Angel's. "Did you see those ponies? They're _sooooo_ cute! Pinkie said this is a castle! How cool's that? I mean, sure, I'm super freaked out that we're in a crystal pony castle in, like, another dimension, but still, this place is adorable!"

I looked at Nudge. "Hey, cute doesn't always mean harmless," I whispered. Angel had proved to me how true that was. Nudge snorted. "Yeah. I bet they're gonna rip our throats out any minute," she said, in a sarcastic voice that made me 50% annoyed, and 50% proud.

I looked around at the group. Fang was standing close to me and, as per usual, was completely silent. Iggy still looked bummed out about the fact that we were surrounded by candy horses. Gazzy was just staring, probably horrified by the lack of anything boyish. Nudge and Angel were both looking around like they had died and gone to heaven.

Now that my Flock was finally back together, untied and unfrozen, I turned to look at the six ponies, who had also gathered in a group and were staring at us. "Sooooo..." I said awkwardly, trying to break the silence that was so thick you could have cut a slice and buttered it. "I think one of you mentioned apple pies?"

**Addendum: I am so done with this right now. if you hate it, fine. But I had the worst writer's block, so I'm glad I got this. until next time. Remember, COMMENT!**


	7. Let me eat first, I'm hungry

**Hello, everyone! Before I say anything else, I want to sincerely apologize for the wait. Before you all hate me, though, let me explain my situation.**

** 1. I literally can only write on Friday after school, Saturday, and Sunday. Two and a half days. Plus, I have to do any homework I get as well.**

** 2. As well as this story, I currently have one more story on fanfiction, one in-progress story on FIMfiction, and another on FIMfiction that I am in the process of creating. I have a lot on my plate at the moment.**

** Still, I am very sorry about the wait. I'm just going to warn in advance, after Christmas break (where I'll be able to write a lot) I may have to update once every three weeks. Sorry.**

** Now then...COMMENT REVIEW TIME!**

** NotMysteryPerson: Glad you enjoyed it! It always help when people say how they feel about a story, even if they don't like it! Igs and Gazzy will do stuff soon, don't worry. Also, be quiet. Pinkie is amazing.**

** Since that's it...LET THE STORY BEGIN!**

Far out in the Australian outback, about seventy miles from the nearest city, anyone passing by would have noticed a small tin hut propped up against a mesa. The hut itself was nothing special; The walls and roof were made of rusting strips of corrugated tin, as was the door. Yellow danger signs were plastered over it, and peeling graffiti over that. The entire thing was caked in dust and dirt. It really didn't look like anything more then an abandoned electricity maintenance shed.

However, inside was a different story. Once you opened the door, everything changed, from dirt and grime to spotless white walls and harsh fluorescent lights. A step of pristine steps led down to a massive hallway that had steel doors set every few feet along its length. The second door on the right hand side was currently the most important room, which became blatantly obvious to anyone the instant they entered. It was perfectly round and filled with strange machines. these machines, however, weren't what made it so important.

The room was in total chaos. People in long white labs coats ran to and fro, dodging each other by the smallest of margins as they went from machine to machine. Some machines were flashing with patterns of multicolored lights, others were spitting out long strips of paper covered in unintelligible scribbles in red ink. The scientists that were continuously racing around would glance at the lights, rip off the strips of paper, doodle something on their clipboard, then proceed to do it all again with another set of machines. In the center of the mayhem was a giant circle of computer monitors, each one manned by another scientist, who were frantically typing long strands of code onto the screen. Occasionally, a scientist would rush over to someone on a computer, shove the clipboard at them, grab a new one from a nearby stack, and hurry away again.

Of course, eventually, something had to happen to disrupt the chaos. This came in the form of a small woman, with gray-streaked auburn hair held back in a bun that appeared to be on the verge of falling apart. This woman, who had just finished writing another formula on her clipboard, rounded and slammed into a tall, thin man with close-cropped black hair and a crooked nose. The woman, being the smaller of the two, went flying into a nearby machine, sending the whole thing crashing to the floor in a shower of metal and sparks.

Instantly, everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to yell at the poor woman, who just lay there, cringing under the weight of the onslaught. "Be careful!" "Look what you did!" "The Director is going to kill us!" "Now what are we gonna do?"

The man with the crooked nose snarled, reaching down and grabbing the woman by the front of her shirt. He set her roughly on her feet. "Clean this mess up," he spat. "And then leave."

The woman knew better than to argue, and with a shaky, tearful nod, she began lifting the machine up so she could repair it. Gradually, everyone went back to the hustle and bustle that had reigned before.

The crooked nosed man stomped over one of the computer monitors, grabbing the shoulder of the person sitting there. The scientist jumped at his touch, turning to reveal it was another man, with pale blond hair and thin, watery gray eyes. "Y-yes, sir?" the man stuttered.

"Are you any closer to copying the signal?" growled the man with the crooked nose. The second man nodded his head shakily, turning and gesturing frantically to the screen, which was covered in long lines of letters, numbers, and formulas. "We have most of it right here, sir," he stammered, pointing to a particularly long string of code. "It was incredibly complex, unlike anything I have ev-"

"Irrelevant!" snapped the first man, and the second fell silent, trembling. "Will you be able to re-create it soon?" The second man gulped and nodded. "Yes, sir," he replied meekly. "It will take approximately fourteen more hours, but we can do it."

The first man gave him a satisfied smile (of course, it wasn't really a smile, he just frowned a bit less) and turned away, walking through a steel door a few feet away. Inside, things were just as cold and scientific as the equipment outside, if not more. There was a highly polished steel desk with a paper-thin computer monitor on it, a straight-backed metal chair, and blank white walls with no decoration. The floors were harsh white linoleum, and the fact that there wasn't so much as a potted plant or a bookshelf made the whole room look like a prison cell, not an executive's office.

The man sat down in the chair and swiped a hand in front of the computer, which turned on with a quiet beep. The screen flickered to life, offering a list of button choices, the last of which the man chose. The screen turned into a schedule, with long lists of dates, times, countries, and short objectives. He studied the screen carefully, every now and again checking some notes that were piled on his desk. Eventually, he scowled. Standing up abruptly, he stalked back to the door and threw it open. "We're behind schedule!" he shouted at the scientists, who immediately froze and turning to look at him. "New rule: all breaks are to be reduced by one-third!"

The scientists, professional as they were, did not make any noise at this news, but still seemed to sag with tiredness. The man appeared not to notice. "Now, get back to work!" he bellowed, turning back to his office and slamming the door behind him.

The scientists stood there for a moment, but then, with a collective sigh, resumed rushing around at break-neck speed.

* * *

><p>As soon as we left Princess Pony's Playtime Palace (Seriously, on the outside, the place looked like a toy ad for five-year olds), we picked up Total and Rarity outside. Total was still really upset about the whole 'doggie' thing, so he didn't talk much.<p>

We started off through a town that wouldn't have been out of place in a medieval revival parade. There were tons of identical, tiny houses (in comparison to houses from our world, I mean) with _thatched roofs._ I snuck a glance over at Gazzy, making sure he wasn't thinking of turning this place into a pony funeral pyre, but he seemed more focused on the ponies.

They were _everywhere._ I mean, I guess I should have known, since the place was called Ponyville, but even a name doesn't prepare you for seeing waist-high candy ponies walking and talking like it was the most normal thing in the world. There was a big pony (I think it was a guy) standing outside a shop that, according to the sign, sold feather sofas. There was another winged pony in the sky, with grey fur and criss-crossed yellow eyes, wearing a mail carrier hat. Two little ponies were sitting outside a cafe at a little table, drinking milkshakes. The one on the right, a pink one with purple and white striped hair and a little tiara on her head, noticed I was staring, frowned, and hopped off her seat, prancing over to out group and giving us a once-over.

"And _what _are _you _supposed to be?" She said in a whiny, bossy voice. I knew right away that, whoever this pony was, I didn't like her. I gave her my best glare. "What, you never seen an Avian American before?" I looked her over. "What are _you _supposed to be? The poster child for upper-crust snobs?"

"Hey, now!" said Twilight, and she ran to my side, looking from me to the pony. "Max, that's not very polite! Apologize to Diamond Tiara!"

Diamond Tiara? Again, this place got a zero in the names department. I didn't see _why _I should apologize (she started it) but I could tell that Twilight wasn't going to back down. I sighed. "Ok, I'm sorry. I've been having a bad day."

Diamond Tiara huffed. "Apology _not _accepted!" She turned and called to her friend, a grey pony with a silver braided mane and tail and a pair of glasses, over her shoulder. "C'mon, Silver Spoon!" she yelled. "We shouldn't hang out around here. We might catch some of _their-"_ She pointed at me and the Flock, "-bad manners!"With a flip of her hair, she turned and stomped over to Silver Spoon, who had stood up with a smug smile on her face. They started walking away.

No way was I gonna let these little mules get away with that. "Too late!" I shouted at them. They both stopped for a second, but kept walking.

Applejack walked up to me, frowning at the ponies. "I reckon you shouldn't a said that," she said. "Those fillies are meaner then a vampire fruit bat in a vegetable patch, but they come from fancy families. You don't wanna get in no trouble."

I didn't understand half of what Applejack, but I did get one part: Diamond Tiara _was _the poster child for upper-crust snobs. I scoffed. "I've faced scarier rich people then a pastel pony in a cheap piece of jewelry."

Applejack gasped. "Now, there's no need for that kinda talk," she scolded. "If you're gonna hang out around here, you need to keep a civil tongue in your head."

I ignored her and kept walking. We were approaching a building that looked like (and I kid you not) a gingerbread house, with frosting trim and candy and everything. A little sign by the steps said, 'Sugarcube Corner'. I heard Nudge and Angel squeal in harmony. "Max! Look at this place!" squeed Nudge.

Iggy poked Gazzy's shoulder. "What does it look like?" he whispered. Gazzy put his face in his hands. "A gingerbread house," he muttered. Iggy blinked. "Well, I didn't see that coming,"

The door to Sugarcube Corner popped open, and out stepped...Pinkie Pie? Hadn't she been behind us a second ago? I wasn't the only one who was confused. I saw Angel turn around and stare at where she had been, and even Fang did a double take. "Come on in!" Pinkie called.

I turned to look at the others. The rest of the ponies didn't even bat an eye. I grabbed Fluttershy as she went by. She squealed a bit and hid behind her mane. "Does she do that a lot?" I whispered. Fluttershy peeked out from her mane and looked at me curiously. "Do what?" she said. I groaned. "Never mind," I muttered, climbing up the steps and pushing open the door.

Instantly I was blasted by the unbelievable smell of baked goods. The shop wasn't crowded, it was just us and a pudgy blue pony behind the counter. She had pink hair that was swirled exactly like cupcake frosting. Inside the glass counter were all sorts of things: cookies, muffins, cakes, cupcakes, brownies, eclairs, donuts, and who knows what else. Everything smelled amazing, and I was pretty sure I was drooling.

Pinkie pointed at a table. "You guys sit there," she said. "And I'll go get you some food. This is your first time here, so I'm gonna make it perfect!" With that, she was off, literally leaving a pony shaped dust cloud behind.

I groaned. "Great. The waiting game." I shuffled over to a chair and sat down. Fang sat next to me. Twilight levitated (man, I am still not used to that) some extra chairs over to us, and everybody sat down. We all just kinda looked at each other for a second, until Nudge, bless her, piped up. "So, what is this place, anyway?"

"This is Sugarcube corner, silly!" squealed Pinkie Pie, who had somehow appeared over Nudge's shoulder, holding a _gigantic _pyramid of pies, cupcakes, donuts, and ice cream sundaes. She set everything down on the table, then looked at us impatiently. "Well, what are you waiting for? Help yourselves!"

She didn't need to tell me twice. I hadn't eaten since a day before we came here, and I felt like I could eat a horse (haha, get it?) I grabbed a sundae and three donuts and proceeded to stuff myself. Around me, the rest of the Flock was doing the same. The ponies were looking at us with a mixture of amusement and revulsion. Rarity in particular seemed grossed out. "Don't stuff yourself like that, darling, she scolded, levitating a napkin and wiping Angel's face. Angel swallowed, then blushed. "Sorry," she muttered.

"So, is it just the unicorns that can move stuff, then?" I said, slowing down enough to talk while I ate. Oh my gosh, this stuff was _amazing!_

Twilight seemed surprised. "You mean, you don't have unicorns back in...uh, where you're from?"

I shook my head. "Nope," I said. "Back where we're from, we don't have ponies with wings, either. Or ponies in rainbow colors."

"Really? That's weird," said Rainbow Dash, before shoving a cookie in her mouth. She swallowed and continued. "I mean, who controls the weather if you don't have any pegasi?"

I blinked. "We _don't _control the weather where we're from," I said, trying to wrap my head around the fact that the weather was controlled by rainbow ponies here.

Twilight's eyes sparkled. There was a _pop _and a flash, and a notebook and quill appeared out of thin air. She looked at me expectantly. "You'll have to tell me all about where you're from!" she said. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!"

I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm. "Fine," I muttered, waving a hand at the stack of baked goods that were left. "But first, let me finish eating. I'm hungry."


End file.
